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From Batman: Fortunate Son

This is probably the best panel in a truly awful story. I knew it was going to be bad (the Amazon reviews prepared me), but I saw it at the library and thought, “Why not? I can read it for free.” There are few things I won’t read if they’re free.

Anyway, it’s bad. You might want to read it to laugh at how terrible it is. I believe the copyright date is 1999, and everything looks to be 90s modern, but Batman acts like he’s in the 1950s and Elvis just appeared on stage. Bruce seriously thinks rock ‘n roll is the devil’s music. A rocker that Dick likes is causing trouble; Bruce thinks said rocker is just doing what rockers do (be terrible criminals) while Dick suspects something is wrong and the rocker is being used.

Dick is correct, but it takes a while for the Duo to save the day and uncover the real culprit because Bruce is blinded by his hate of rock.

Why does Bruce hate rock ‘n roll so much? One reason is because a rocker Bruce was drawn to murdered a woman who was drawn to said rocker. Bruce realized the rocker had issues but couldn’t save the woman in time. In logical fashion, Bruce basically decides that all rock musicians are murderers in the making. But there’s another reason, and it features asshole Thomas Wayne.

Man, Thomas Wayne has seen some reals ups and downs in his life. He has been a saint and he has been a real douche. Fortunate Son features douche Thomas, who turns off the radio and tells Bruce, “we don’t listen to that sort of music in this house.” Then the family goes to the movies and … you know the rest.

Dick proves he is a far better person than I when Bruce tells him that story and Dick acknowledges he understands Bruce wants to be “loyal to your dad’s wishes,” but he still missed out on a lot. Pretty sure my reaction was, “are you f***in’ kidding me?”

Once Bruce realizes he needs to know about rock to solve this case, he goes into a recording studio (pictured above) to listen to endless hours of rock and thereby understand it. As ridiculous as that sounds, it works because this is a Batman story and Bruce is Batman.

What more ridiculousness could be crammed into this comic?

I’m glad you asked! Batman also takes Robin to visit Arkham Asylum because “insanity reverberates in every chord of this music you love … and I’m going to show it to you.” Then we get to learn some of the bands our favorite criminals enjoy. Two-Face? He likes ABBA, but some days it’s Black Sabbath. I shit you not. That is in this comic.

Dick wisely gets the heck out of dodge and goes off on his own, claiming he wanted Bruce to “make me strong. Not to drag me down there!” Those are some of the wisest words in this comic. Run, Robin, before you too become afraid of Top 40 songs.

Batman gets his act together, Robin is proven correct, and Bruce relaxes his attitude towards rock. Robin is now allowed to sing rock songs in the Batcave, so everybody wins. I guess. It’s supposed to be a happy ending.


- Grayson #02


I admit it. You’re going to get this issue in detail, sort of like live-blogging. Only queued. My apologies.

Anyway. I like Helena fine but I hope that the writers won’t be so predictable as to make her and Dick a couple. Since they’ve stripped him of everything that he was, at least give him a brand new love interest we haven’t encountered before.

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